Lost Boys
by The Knife In Your Side
Summary: This is the story of the many summers spent by Sirius Black with his estranged Uncle Alphard on a farm at the edge of a very dark forest, the strange scared boy named Remus Lupin who ran with wolves, the even stranger friendship that blooms between them through the years and everything after. Wolfstar Fantasy!AU.
1. No Sunlight

**TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of child abuse**

**The places I name in this story are real, but I myself have never been there as I live on the other side of the world, so the descriptions may be off and specific shops I mention could be non-existent. The details have only been changed for the sake of my story, so if you're familiar with Wiltshire, England, I apologise for inaccuracies, but otherwise it shouldn't matter too much.**

**Also, every chapter will have lyrics from a **_**Death Cab For Cutie **_**song. I didn't plan on this, I just realized that their songs seem to work amazingly with my story (and the pairing in general) while planning (yes, this entire FanFic was already been planned in depth before I commenced writing) so I suggest you listen to the music while reading, but if it's not your genre then I also listened to 'One Day In August' by **_**Mark Teichert**_** which is an amazing orchestral piece that fits beautifully… or don't, it's your choice. **

**Disclaimer:**** I am not JK Rowling; all I own of this story is the plot, some minor OC's and basis of my AU. **

* * *

><p><em>"When I was young, lying in the grass<em>

_I felt so safe in a warming bath_

_Of sunlight, of sunlight_

_Fast open sky could do no harm_

_Like an embrace of a mother's arms, in sunlight_

_With every year that came to pass_

_More clouds appear until the sky went black_

_And now there's no sunlight, no sunlight._

_And now there's no sunlight,_

_No sunlight anymore._

_You disappeared with the same speed_

_The idealistic things I believed_

_The optimist died inside of me_

_No sunlight."_

_–Death Cab For Cutie 'No Sunlight'_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter One: 1971<em>

The train hummed and clicked in methodical rhythm as it raced through the countryside of rolling green fields and small quaint towns, so vastly different from the dirty streets of London. It was almost mesmerising, the thought of this summer.

Sirius of course questioned the reasoning behind his parents sending them away – he questioned everything, really, which was quite the nasty habit. The amounts of times the nuns at his inner-city boarding school had thrashed him due to speaking out of turn would be enough incentive for any rational child to change their wicked ways, but young Sirius Black had never really taken a liking to fulfilling people's expectations.

His younger brother Regulus, currently fast asleep against his dead arm, seemed to be adamant in his view that he was only here because of Sirius' behavioural issues, but deep down they both knew the truth – their parents couldn't stand the sight of them. He contemplated shaking the kid off but decided against it, not wanting to deal with an irritable little brother for the rest of the journey.

The elder boy often wondered why their parents had children in the first place, given they despised kids so much. He eventually came to the conclusion that it was probably an accident, or a misunderstanding of some kind, and despite being only eleven and therefore not having the best idea on how procreation occurred, he wasn't far from the truth.

When the train pulled up at their station, Sirius grinned wickedly, shaking his brother awake and throwing a rucksack over his scrawny shoulder. Due to the lateness of the hour, the boys found themselves alone on the platform.

"C'mon, Reg, let's go find our estranged Uncle," Sirius hummed excitedly and instead of arguing with his elder brother in the way he usually would, Regulus just nodded tiredly with a yawn and followed.

Outside the sun was setting and they spotted a tall thin man leant against a bottle-blue VW Beetle. He had dark hair and dark eyes like their mother, but without the coldness.

"Hello boys, I believe it's been a while since our last meeting," the man smiled kindly and Sirius felt slightly taken aback. When I say that Sirius new nothing of what it felt to be treated with compassion, it was no exaggeration – his life had so far lead him into believing three simple truths;

1) Never expect understanding.

2) Never expect kindness.

3) Never expect mercy.

When the children didn't answer, Alphard only sighed and opened the car door for them, "You boys look tired, we'd better be getting home. My cars a little cramped but we'll manage."

As they drove, his Uncle hummed and tapped a beat on the steering wheel as Sirius started blankly out the window wistfully.

Turning onto a rough dirt road Sirius perked up, nudging his brother awake as the Beetle came to a halt outside a small farm house with ivy growing up the walls. The garden looked over grown but not neglected with green weeds pushing up through the cracks in the path towards the bright blue front door, a few shades darker than his car.

Inside was dimly lit and smelled like dust motes and the old books that sat in little stacks throughout the space – by the sink, on the kitchen table, even by the front door. Books were crammed into every shelf, every nook and every cranny. The further he entered, the more books there were and Sirius felt his brothers eyes widen in delight.

"This way boys," Alphard lead them up the dry wooden stairs that screeched under their weight. The second floor consisted of a short hallways with three identical doors, their Uncle opened the first, "This here is for you two, across the hall is the bathroom and the last door is for the attic – I'll give you a few minutes to settle in here and then you can meet me downstairs for tea," he paused and then added as an afterthought, "this was the room of your mother and I when we were younger, well before she married a governor and forgot everything she ever knew of country life…"

Then with one last smile, he turned and marched down the stairs again.

Somehow the thought of his mother sleeping in this room put Sirius off – he couldn't imagine her young. He wondered if when she was a child her eyes were still cold, or did that come later? Is that what happened when you grew up, Sirius pondered, do you lose the warmth in your eyes?

But Alphard hadn't, so why did she? What happened to Wulburga Black in-between they days where she slept in this room to when she locked Sirius in his?

An extremely tired Regulus dumped his bags as well as himself, face first onto the closest brass bed, and so shrugging Sirius took the other. The paint on the walls was off-white like old parchment and peeling in the corners, the window curtains were another shade of pastel blue (he was noticing a theme). Under the bed were even more books, and at this point, Sirius was hardly surprised.

"Reg, c'mon, I know your tired but you still need to eat," Sirius attempted to coax his younger brother off the bed but he was already sleeping soundlessly so he sighed, "Hopeless, you are,"

With sudden nervousness he left the room – if Regulus gets in trouble for not attending dinner it's hardly his fault, however Sirius was anxious to not get on bad terms with their Uncle.

Over the years Sirius had developed a certain talent of making himself invisible. It was a necessary skill to have in his home – knowing how to shrink yourself down and make it so they barely look at you enough to notice everything that's wrong.

So when Alphard turned around to see Sirius standing behind him he let out a yell, dropping the plate of food he was carrying.

The sound of crashing brought waved of nausea to his stomach and he immediately backed away to the walls wrapping his arms around his face and sliding down the wall – but the pain he expected never came. Instead, there was a laugh.

"Oh god, you're a quiet one! Nearly gave me a heart attack you did – what're you doing down there for?" his Uncle asked, stepping forward slightly with worry in his voice. Sirius flinched and realization dawned on Alphard, "Hey look at me – you're not at home now, you're here. I ain't never raised a hand to a child and I swear I never will. It was an accident, son, no need to worry,"

Sirius was, first and foremost, relieved but also entirely confused.

"Father says only the weak don't discipline children, sir," Sirius muttered and he stood up, dusting off his jeans.

Alphard snorted, "I reckon it's pretty weak to hit somebody who can't hit back – and no offense, but your fathers a bit of a crack-pot. What my sister ever saw in him I'll never know."

_One day I could hit back_, Sirius didn't dare say allowed as he sat down at the table.

"I'm guessing Regulus is too tired to come down, he did doze off a bit in the car – oh well, I dropped his anyway," the man chuckled and swept the smashed plate of food into the dustpan then emptied it into the bin, "I'm not the most versatile chef being here on my own, but I bought a cooking book in town the other day so you boys wouldn't be eating stew every night for an entire summer. Honestly having you here will probably benefit me – it'll make me take care of myself better,"

Sirius nodded passively, eyeing the food hungrily.

"Good God boy, don't wait for me – eat if you're hungry!" Alphard pursed his lips and stared at his young nephew with sad eyes before coming over to sit opposite.

"Thank you, sir," he murmured.

His Uncle sighed, "In this home, I only have a few rules: you can do anything you want in the house so long as you clean any messes and don't harm anything too valuable – valuable meaning books, never hurt books; no going into the forest after nightfall and no leaving the property without telling me; and try not to disturb me while I'm writing unless it's important."

"Writing?" Sirius questioned.

Alphard furrowed his brows, "Well yes, I'm an author. Writing is what I do for a living. It's the reason I let this place go to shambles… but we're clear on the rules?"

"Yes, sir,"

The older man made a face, "And no calling me _sir_, Alphard is fine. I don't need the reminder of my age."

Sirius smiled to himself and begun to dig into whatever strange dish Alphard had prepared.

Things would be better here, he knew it.

* * *

><p>After the initial day of finding his feet, Sirius' sights turned to the expanse of land ready and waiting for exploration. He kept it simple for the first few days, exploring the farmland that used to have an abundant crop of apple trees that'd been left to grow wild in their meticulous rows – he didn't exactly trust the apples on the tree, but hunger eventually won over and he searched for one that didn't look blotched or rotten. Thankfully there was nothing wrong with it aside from a bland, bitter taste.<p>

Sirius was, of course, a city boy. He knew the London like the back of his hand – but the smog, it still choked him up and the bustling city people still knocked him down without so much a care. Yes, he was raised in the city, but Sirius Black was born for the country.

He liked how the grass came up to his chin in the open field and how without even knowing it he could trigger a flock of a thousand blackbirds to fly from their hiding placed and into the sky.

It was strange and exciting, and left him trudging back to Alphard's cottage when the sunset burnt the fringes of the sky and the stretched length of his shadow made the small giddy boy feel bigger than reality and so despite sore limbs and scraped hands, he would be off again next morning.

There wasn't time to question the safety of the old trees before his small hands clasped around thick trunks and hoisted himself up, further and further into the sky until the branches thinned out and wobbled dangerously beneath his weight – and that was his undoing in the end.

Of course it wasn't that dramatic, the branch where his foot rested simply snapped, a loud crack ringing as he lost balance, other branches breaking his fall as the twigs and leaves scratched at his skin in some sort of hostile pay back.

It occurred all too fast for Sirius to do anything but flail in hopes of catching onto a stable branch and suddenly, with struggling arms clinging desperately, he was hanging from a thick trunk again, heart thumping like thunder in his chest. When his mind calmed, that he realized the large stinging gash on his knee that begun to drool blood down his leg and soak into his sock.

He cursed himself and felt a wave of nausea wash over him – not out of pain, but fear for what Alphard would do when he saw the cut. Would there be a lecture? Would he ban him from the fields? Would he lock him in his room?

His parents would.

But as his arm begun straining to hold themselves, Sirius realized he'd have to either drop to the ground or push up onto the branch. He went with the former due to his inability to push himself up which didn't really help at all with his leg, but at least he was on solid ground again.

He had nothing to stop the blood flow and so in a strange hobble-limp sort of fashion, Sirius made him way towards his Uncle's home with a sense of dread in his heart.

On the doorstep he shivered at the state he was in, opening the door quietly hoping that maybe he could make it to the bathroom before anybody saw.

This, of course, was impossible as the moment Alphard saw his state; he mumbled a string of obscenities and rushed over.

"God, that's a nasty gash you got there," he examined, ushering the shell-shocked Sirius inside and grabbing a tea-towel from the bench to wipe up the blood.

"I-It's not that bad… I-Please don't ban me from outside… I didn't mean it," he stuttered uncharacteristically.

Alphard stared at him as if he were crazy, "Why would I bad you from outside? I highly doubt you _meant_ to nearly bleed to death, it was an accident, right?"

"Of course,"

"Well then let me clean it up for you, there's dirt all in the cut," Alphard smiled encouragingly as he helped Sirius up the stairs and into the bathroom.

He lent against the bathtub as his Uncle opened up the cupboard beneath the sink and reveal, quite frankly, a ridiculous amount of medical supplies. There were bandages and Band-Aids and little bottles of pills and thick liquids that in the young boy's eyes looked as if it could cure any ailment in the world.

"Why're there so many bandages?" he asked curiously.

He smiled his usual 'I am very clever and I know things you don't know' smile which on any other adult would irritate Sirius, but when it came to Alphard all it made Sirius was want to know exactly what he was missing, "Because boys who run wild have a tendency for injury,"

Sirius didn't so much as flinch as Alphard cleaned the wound. It was almost unnatural his tolerance to pain.

When he was finished, Alphard sighed, "I will ask that maybe you stick around for the afternoon with that leg,"

Sirius nodded in acceptance, "That's okay,"

Then, taking the bloodied cloth from the floor the middle-aged man sighed, "I'm not cut out for parenting."

"I think you're doing an alright job," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Thank you, Sirius," he ruffled the boys messy hair, "Now how about you come down stairs, I was just finishing up on tea anyway. For once you don't have to eat it cold."

Sirius laughed, "Alright."

* * *

><p>The next day Sirius sticks around the house for the sake of not giving his Uncle stress-induced age-lines too early on in life. He honestly forgets sometimes that Alphard was nearing his sixties and already <em>had<em> age-lines. Maybe it was the eyes, near-black and yet so very warm and childish. Or the mischievous smile that seemed near-permanent.

"You know Regulus, I worry I might run out of books for you to read this summer," he said one morning at breakfast while scrawling notes down in a journal.

Sirius furrowed his brows, "Alphard, this house is built of books. I wouldn't be surprised if literature lined the inside of the walls! I found books in the _bread bin_ the other day! How could anybody possibly run out of books here?"

Regulus rolled his eyes at his elder brother's ignorance, "Maybe I could read _your _books, then – the ones you write,"

Their Uncle pursed his lips, "When you're older I'll force you to read them but they're not exactly suited for nine-year-olds – no offense, of course."

Sirius smiled, if there was anything he loved about Alphard is that he spoke to them as he would an adult, there was no belittling in his tone or dismissal due to a conflict of ages.

"How about we go into library today, I'm in a writing slump anyhow. Getting out of the house would benefit us all," their Uncle begun collecting the breakfast dishes.

Regulus seemed to buzz in his chair, "Can we go _now_?"

Sirius begun silently trying to slip away from the table but his Uncle only smirked at the boy's lack of tact, "Of course, as soon as Sirius _drinks his milk_,"

The eleven-year-old mad a face of disgust, "But I _hate milk_, it's _vile_!"

"Drink the milk or you're coming with us for the day," Alphard spoke sternly.

He crinkled his nose and stood defiantly, "Fine. I'm coming with you."

Regulus snorted and Alphard grinned to himself, "Good, I'll be waiting in the car…" then the two bookish ones strutted out of the kitchen feeling satisfied with themselves as Sirius glares at the glass of milk and whispers something along the lines of _'this isn't over…'_ to the inanimate object filled with liquid.

The road into Marlborough wasn't much different during the day than at night and yet Sirius still felt himself being mesmerised by the green hills that seemed to roll infinitely.

As the dirt road turned to cobblestone, Alphard cursed himself, "I forgot today was Sunday – its market day… oh well, we might as well have a look around anyway."

Regulus seemed a little disheartened by this while Sirius seemed to perk up, cambering out of the car excitedly.

"I have a few errands to run at the bank and pharmacy, but if you boys want to wander around the market we can meet back here in an hour," he smiled warmly and takes off his wrist watch to hand to a sick looking Regulus, "As the mature one–"

"_Hey!"_

"–you keep track of the time. Also, your big brother. Make sure he doesn't… die, or something," Alphard winked and Regulus managed a smile.

Sirius didn't say anything further – he knew the discomfort being in public brought his brother, and nodded along with his Uncle encouragingly.

The nine-year-old took the old wrist watch with a quick curt nod and said with a straight face, "He won't die on my watch," to which they needed another ten minutes before Sirius and Alphard stopped cackling like fools, and another few to explain to Regulus that he'd created an atrociously hilarious pun.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon it rained, thundering down on the cottage and in an attempt to lift the mood, Alphard brought out a deck of cards and a large jar of assorted lollies into the living room and spoke very seriously, "Now boys, I believe you're at the age where most young men should learn to play poker. I don't wish to be enforcing gender roles on you, but this is a very important matter of life and death."<p>

"We know how to play poker, Alphard," Regulus said with furrowed brows and their Uncle let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God, I'm a terrible teacher – but if you're not too tired to play, we can use this jar of pure unadulterated sugar I won a few months ago for game chips."

Sirius attempted to use this time to get revenge on being dragged to the library for the morning, which worked quite well, until Alphard realized how great a liar the boy really was and that he almost always attempted to bluff his way out of lowly cards – "a sick sense of determination" he described it as. Meanwhile, Regulus folded whenever he wasn't _entirely and completely_ sure he'd win. They also had a problem with eating their currency, which worked well enough until Alphard declared wrappers ineligible for play, which was a rather dirty trick.

So of course Alphard won this rounds worth of loot and the two brothers challenged him to a rematch.

This continued well into the night until they realized they no longer had enough lollies to continue playing and it was well past midnight, which resulted in all three rising late in the afternoon.

Sirius, whose knee had begun scabbing over, was egger to be in the outdoors again so with giddy anticipation he set off, but found eventually the farm wasn't enough to keep his rapid imagination entertained, and his gaze rested out the bedroom window onto the woods that stood ancient and foreboding at bottom of the hill with its twisted trees and secrets almost calling the eleven-year-old to uncover.

"What time would I have to be back if I were to explore the forest," Sirius asked warily.

Alphard cocked an eyebrow, "Back in this living room before the suns sets," Sirius smirked, it sounded like something from a story, like if he didn't get back in time his clothes would turn to rags or the big bad wolf would come and get him, "Also, I'd like you to take Reg… he needs some fresh air. All these books and time inside isn't healthy."

"Don't you find that _slightly_ hypocritical?" Sirius questioned, not exactly taking a liking into dragging Regulus around with him for the day. It wasn't so much that he liked to solitude, it was the fact that his little brother at age nine had a pole shoved so far up his ass it choked his throat.

"I get paid to sit inside at the typewriter all day," the fifty-something-year-old spoke haughtily and Sirius groaned. It was difficult to differentiate between the larger child.

Eventually though, Sirius gave in (there may have been bribery involved but who really knows) and thudded his way up the staircase to find Regulus sitting with crossed-legs and immaculate posture on his bed.

"Please slouch a little, Reg, it'll make you seem a little more human," Sirius commented and his little brother scowled.

"Go away, Sirius. I'm _reading_." he muttered, eyes not darting to dart away from the page.

The elder boy raised an eyebrow, "_The Complete Poetic Works of Emily Dickinson_ – oh yes, it sounds absolutely fascinating. A real page turner," he paused realizing this approach wouldn't work, "Personally, I'm more of a Robert Frost fan myself – Dickinson was a mad lady obsessed with death, did you know–"

He snorted but it seemed to grab his attention, "Yes, I probably do, but how do _you_ know anything about classic American poetry? I'm surprised you know how to read… all you do is run around outside and get _dirty_,"

"I go to school, dumbass. Isn't Frost all about nature and experiencing life? I don't see how you can really _connect _properly with the poetry without going _outside_,"

Regulus narrowed his eyes, "What do you _want_?"

"Come climb trees with me?" he asked with a cheesy grin.

"…_Why?_"

"I worry about you Regulus–"

"–_No you don't_–"

"–And I feel as if we're growing apart as brothers–"

"–_Uncle put you up to this, didn't he_?–"

There was a pause.

"It was more of a bribe…"

The younger snorted, "If I go with you, will you leave me alone for the rest of the summer?"

"Yes."

"Are you lying?"

"Probably."

"If I don't go will you continue to irritate me for the day?"

"No."

"Are you still lying?"

"Definitely."

Regulus let out an exasperated sigh, slipping a book mark in-between the pages and mumbling, "Let's just go…"

A sense of achievement grew in Sirius' chest – he and his brother had never been conventionally close, and sometimes he envied the relationships some of his school mates had with their siblings, but at the same time he was happy with what he was given. Regulus wasn't close with _anybody _– he had no friends at all, not even acquaintances. He was a mute most of the time and the fact that Alphard had managed to get him to have proper conversations was a feat in itself.

So yes, they weren't close in the way most brothers were, he knew even on the days were Regulus' mind was somewhere else entirely not to take it personally, because the fact that they _could_ argue and Regulus _could _engage with Sirius most days while everybody was still shut out was enough.

As Sirius marched himself down the hill looking to the dark forest with an excited wickedness dancing in his steel grey eyes, Regulus followed cautiously behind wondering what exactly he'd gotten himself into.

"The Savernake Forest is said to be one of the oldest forests in Brittan. It was first mentioned in AD 934 in the written records of Saxon King Athelstan, but the land passed into Norman ownership soon after the invasion of 1066, which would make the forest over–"

Sirius smirked, "Regulus, not that all this isn't all very interesting, but shut up."

This forest was like none either had ever seen – as Regulus has mention – it was ancient, with twisted trees bleached ashen grey by time. The stench of moss and overgrowth made the boys wrinkle their noses at first, but they quickly became accustomed. The stillness was eerie and the breeze sounded like the trees whispering to each other, as if to warn of the intruders whose feet flightily walked through the underbrush.

It wasn't long until they come to a stream of black water, and although Sirius was willing to dangerously wade through it, Regulus however, was not willing to risk his life to the current.

So instead they backtracked and Sirius decided to put his brothers climbing skills to the test. The nine-year-old struggled at first but eventually (after getting over initial fears) found himself catching his elder brother to sit up in the higher, thinner branches.

Regulus was the one to remind Sirius of the time that'd past in the end, and unwillingly he followed the younger back to the edge of the forest, but he couldn't shake the feeling the forest gave him. It made him want to brush his fingers across every tree trunk he passed because he knew there were secrets here, mysteries. He felt it in the marrow of his bones – and he wanted to uncover them all.

* * *

><p>Days past and Regulus slowly stopped coming – not out of lack of enjoyment, but because he simply preferred to be alone.<p>

Sirius didn't mind, he had been enticed by the forest. It scared him enough to still make his heart race even now and was beautiful in a way that grew on him more every day. He liked to talk to the trees as if they were friends and take off his shoes to feel the moss between his toes and eat berries straight from the wild brambles and move from tree to tree without ever touching the ground.

But in all this there was a feeling he couldn't shake, the feeling of being _watched_. Initially he passed if off as the usual foreboding creepiness that made his skin crawl – it wasn't always there either, but when it was it felt like an impossible itch in the mind.

Still, Sirius being Sirius wasn't satisfied by the woods on the south side of the river knowing there was more to discover, especially in the heat of the summer when the black water looked so very cool.

So skiting at the edges, wondering how exactly he'd get across without drowning himself, Sirius found an old tree on the banks that hung over the water like a dead weight and the eleven-year-old considered climbing across the trunk and flinging his body to the other side.

_But then how would I get back?_ He pondered while analysing the ancient tree, feeling his hands along the rough trunk, dipping into the hollow his hand brushed against something synthetic and tightly wound. With a few good tugs he freed the rope that ripped up that had been carefully concealed in the twist of the tree trunk.

Eyes following its length to see the rope tied to the thick trunk that hung over the stream. It seemed well used but sturdy enough, and without really much thought, Sirius curled his body around the rope and pushed off from the bank with a shark kick.

It wasn't the most graceful of landings, but as his body thumped on the other bank he grinned deviously to himself, loosely tying it around a smaller shrub. It gave him an odd feeling, the rope, knowing that somebody else had been here before him. That it wasn't just his special place.

The thought was childish, he knew, but it made him jealous none the less.

As he walked, it became darker, despite being the middle of the day. The trees were older here, he noted, and they whispered to each other more often. The forest grew thicker, the brambles wilder, the way rage did when you were at your tether.

And then he stumbled over something nothing short of magnificent – something so very terribly _secret_.

The tree itself was too thick to even try and wrap his arms round – he wouldn't even get half way. Its leaves were a vibrant green and rustled with the breeze, but that really wasn't the point. Built into the tree, old and yet seeming surprisingly stable, was a rough tree house. The roof was more patches than not and moss grew between the boards, stairs curled themselves around the trunk and into the worn down home. There were ropes and pullies too, and a telescope on a platform as high as you could reach which made Sirius feel giddy.

Approaching slowly and with more caution than he'd ever had in his life, the boy felt bewildered. He grew up in the city and had never laid eyes on something more amazing.

Running a hand over the ancient bark and dubious railings, there was a sound of growling from behind him and he turned abruptly to find a fully grown wolf with russet fur.

He couldn't say anything, couldn't move as it bared its teeth and moved towards him until a voice shouted, "Sia! _Stop_!" and the wolf sniffed, seeming irritated.

A scrawny boy slightly shorter than Sirius with mousy hair and pale skin bounded into the clearing, he wore a loose cotton shirt with rolled up sleeves and tan shorts. There was a recurve bow slung over his back and at his hip a holster full of arrows.

The wolf flicked its eyes between the two boys and eventually decided to pad towards the other.

"I'm so sorry! Honestly, Sia's just protective of me! Please don't tell anybody!" the thin boy begun panicking.

Sirius only grinned, "You have a pet _wolf_?"

"She's really not my–_ouch_ Sia– yes s-she's my pet," he smiled weakly, and Sirius noticed the thin silver scars that criss-crossed his face, "If I may ask, what're you doing… you know… at my home? Most people don't come this far into Savernake…"

"You _live_ here? In a _tree house_?" the raven-haired boy gapped and automatically went to ask about his parents but bit his tongue last minute. Sirius knew better than most that parents weren't always the best subject to start a conversation with.

"Y-yeah… you're the boy from the Black house on the fringes, right?" he asked shakily.

"How'd you know that?"

The brunet looked down to his dirty bare feet, "Well I've seen you wandering around the forest for a few weeks… you're a good climber… sorry."

Sirius barked a laugh, "That's alright; I'm Sirius by the way. Sirius Black, and you are…?"

"Remus," he spoke quickly, "Remus Lupin… d-do you wanna come inside, it's going to rain soon…"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "How could you know that?"

"Can't you smell it?" he questioned in bewilderment and Sia whined as if to say _'this is pathetic'_.

"No."

Remus flushed red, "Oh, well. Sorry."

"Stop apologising for things – let's see if you're right,"

"I'm always right," he spoke before thinking again and turned redder.

"Well okay Remus Lupin, but let's just see, huh?" Sirius grinned and pointed a thumb towards to staircase, "This the way up?"

"Obviously."

Sirius pursed his lips and smiled, "You're not the most social are you?"

Remus snorted and smirked, "I live in the middle of the forest – what'd you expect?"

"In all honesty, I didn't really expect anybody to be living with wolves in the middle of the forest," he shrugged and turned to climb the stairs – two steps at a time.

"I'm not just anybody," muttered Remus too low for Sirius' human ears to hear, but Sia nudged him forward.

And as if to prove the point, minutes later, the sky opened up and droplets begun pouring from the sky, hitting the hard earth.

* * *

><p>Remus set a tin bucket under a leak and sighed feeling self-conscious, "It's not much, but its home…"<p>

Sirius rolled his eyes – to him, this seemed like the most amazing place in the world. The two largest trunks that went straight through the single room had a hammock tied between them. There was also a small rocky table and four chairs. Shelves lined the walls, full of everything from spices to bandages to books. Actually, there were books everywhere. It was like he walked into his brother's bedroom except a million times less boring.

"_Lord of the Flies_… my Uncle has this book, except his cover is rip– oh this _is_ my Uncle's book," he stated casually but Remus let the pale he was carrying clatter to the ground and Sirius jumped, "God, I don't care – that man has more books than all the libraries in the world!"

Remus breathed out a sigh of relief, "Sorry…"

"Hey man, it's okay. It must get pretty lonely out here with only–" Sia growled "–an _amazingly interesting_ wolf to keep you company. If you want I can bring some more next time I come,"

Remus stared at him for a moment, "Next time?"

Sirius mentally cursed himself, "Uh, well, if you want me too, I mean…"

"I do," he said quickly and Sirius smiled encouragingly.

"So you've never really had a friend before?"

Remus wanted to lie, but there was no point. Something about the other boy's intense grey eyes didn't let him.

"… No."

"Me neither," he shrugged.

They spent the rest of the day lounging around, talking and waiting for the rain to stop. Sirius learnt that Remus liked to read and draw, but struggled with writing. He learned that Sia had looked after him since he was little and she was as close as family. He also learnt that he always wanted to go to school, but couldn't (Sirius didn't really understand why but when questioned, Remus shrugged and gave a lame excuse).

Remus in turn learnt that Sirius was from London and loved music more than life itself. He also learnt that Sirius had a brother who didn't like people or loud noises. He learnt that he went to boarding school and hated it with a passion. He learnt that he'd always wanted a motorbike and tattoos but if he ever got them his parents would throw him onto the streets (Remus didn't really understand but when he asked to explain, Sirius shrugged and gave a lame excuse).

And when the sun begun to sink low in the sky and the rain subsided, Sirius made his way home with a giddy on his lips.

Because things were better here, and nothing else really mattered.

* * *

><p>And then he came home, and the warmth seemed to fade away, like a haze the memories drifted away replaced by his harsh reality.<p>

Grimmauld Place was depressing in every way, shape and form. Its grey walls and dim lighting sucked the life out of your very soul, but Sirius never noticed until he came home. Until he experienced something that wasn't locked doors and yelling, before he'd never known better, but now he _did_ and it was _agonising_.

And of course it only caused more trouble for him – knowing that he was worth something more than black eyes and the loneliness of a bare, grey room.

Suddenly a voice sounded on the other side of the door.

"You shouldn't provoke him like that," his brother whispered.

"I'm not _you_ Regulus, I can't help the fact I disagree with the fact he's a right bastard…" he mumbled bitterly.

There was a sigh, "Still, you have two days left before we're back in school. Don't make it worse for yourself… please."

"Okay, Regulus, I'll try."

"Thank you," the words were barely audible, but they made a faint smile cross Sirius' lips.

Regulus didn't come back after that, he didn't expect him too either. Any progress Alphard had made in helping his reclusive brother come out of his shell had been completely undone the minute their mother's eyes fell on their 'disgustingly dishevelled' figures as they stepped onto the platform.

So alone in a room, feeling so very small against the high walls that closed in on him, he cried. The ugly sort that made your body shake and throat choke.

Sirius of course had cried before –in pity, in emptiness, in loneliness, in pain – but never like this. Never knowing that he didn't _deserve_ this treatment, that he was _worth _something, that he was _loved_… and yet somehow now it was worse.

Before, crying had always felt numb, but now he felt as if he would break with the pain of it.

It was late when the scratching appeared at his small window – not big enough to escape out of, but big enough for the Tawney owl that was growing in persistence.

With a sigh, Sirius slid the window open, in an attempt to scare the bird away, but it had the exact opposite effect – as soon as he slid it up, it darted inside.

"_Bloody hell_," he hissed under his breath, cursing his luck.

The bird settled on the headboard of his bed, cleaning its feathers and eyeing Sirius expectantly, as he was just meant to _know _why it sat there.

It was then he noticed what was tied to its leg – a scrolled piece of paper. He'd heard of pigeons being used to carry messages but owls? He'd never come across that in any history textbook to date, but somehow he just knew what it was – _who_ it was.

There was only one person in the whole world he knew to be that good with animals, who also had no idea how to mail a letter like a normal person.

The bird didn't flinch as he came near and begun to slowly untie the letter, however still careful not to scare it away. Unrolling the scroll, his suspicions proved correct;

_29th of August, 1971_

_Sirius Orion Black,_

_12 Grimmauld Place,_

_Islington, London,_

_England._

_Dear Sirius,_

_You only left a day ago, but I guess this'll take a day or so to get to you, so I'm writing it now. Before you ask, I got the address from your Uncle's refrigerator. I think you Uncle might be going deaf, because he still hasn't noticed me sneaking into his home. Maybe he's just become accustomed to you. You're a very loud person you know… anyhow; I hope everything is okay back home with your parents and that I don't miss you before you leave for boarding school._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus J. Lupin_

Sirius grinned, all tears and bruises momentarily forgotten in light of his friend letter as he immediately went to his bedside table draw, pulling out a pen and lined paper from the mess of and begun writing.

_31th of August, 1971_

_Sir Remus (J?) Lupin,_

_Epic Treehouse,_

_Ancient Forest,_

_Middle of Nowhere._

_REEEEMUS!_

_you write LIKE MY GRANDFATHER all those books are rotting your brain I tell you making you use language all proper also you told be you struggled with writing which makes you a LIAR NOW like you act as if I'M SO BAD but you're the SNEAK THEIF who steals peoples FRIDGE SECRETS you also have freaky hearing so everybody seems deaf to you and I AM NOT LOUD I am ASSERTIVE however my teachers like the term IRREVERSIBLY WARPED IN THE HEAD home is like home always has been but school starts tomorrow so that's all good how is SIA?_

_SIRIUS_

_P.S. send the next letter to my school (St. Grogory's School in London)_

Rolling up the letter he took the string and tied it securely to the birds ankle, and let it loose without any idea on whether it would take itself to Remus or not and collapsed into his bed, exhausted.

He could get through the year, he could reach the next summer, so long as Remus reminded him exactly why he needed to.

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you think, and feel free to point out any typos because I'm a horrible editor…<strong>


	2. Summer Skin

**As I was raised in neither the 1970s nor England, please feel free to point out any contextual inaccuracies that I may have made, even if it's the slightest thing.**

**Also, I created a general Wolfstar playlist called **_**'bittersweet between my teeth' **_**and another one specific to this fic called**_** 'lost boys' **_**which I posted on 8tracks. There's a link to my 8tracks account at the bottom of my profile if anybody is interested.**

**(And, for the record, I ain't gonna pull some** _**Bridge to Terabithia**_** type shit and have one of them drown in the river. I am cruel, but not **_**that**_** cruel…)**

* * *

><p>"<em>Squeaky swings and tall grass<em>

_The longest shadows ever cast_

_The water's warm and children swim_

_And we frolicked about in our summer skin_

_I don't recall a single care_

_Just greenery and humid air_

_Then Labour day came and went_

_And we shed what was left of our summer skin_

_On the night you left I came over_

_And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders_

_Our brand new coats so flushed and pink_

_And I knew your heart I couldn't win_

'_Cause the seasons change was a conduit_

_And we left our love in our summer skin."_

–_Death Cab For Cutie 'Summer Skin'_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Two: 1972<em>

Sirius had to admit, waking to an owl scratching at his window every third day was not what he expected of his friend, but through the year he grew used to the strangeness. Now he stood with an old rucksack thrown over his back and a plain wooden box clutched to his chest that contained every letter of correspondence between the boys through the year.

The stinking heat did nothing for his rabid impatience as the two brothers waited on the curb for their Uncle Alphard to arrive and save them from turning to puddles on the pavement.

"I told you you'd regret bringing that much chocolate, it's probably melted all in your clothes," Regulus pointed out, irritated by the heat as much as his brother.

"It's for a friend," Sirius muttered and Regulus looked confused.

"What friend?" he asked and the elder boy didn't answer.

It was just at the point where they were beginning to give up on him, that he arrived, bottle-blue Beetle rolling up beside them. Out jumped an elderly man with the mind-set of a twenty-year-old, apologising profusely.

"Terribly sorry, boys. I had an important call with some publishers and some car trouble and, well, you don't want to hear it. Bloody heat wave… anyway, how've you been? Can I get a hug or are you too old for that sort of thing now…?" he asked wearily and Sirius shrugged. He'd missed his Uncle like mad through the year, and although he _did_ believe himself too old for hugs, this was to be the only exception for the summer.

"C'mon, Reg, I haven't seen you in yonks! If you hug me now I won't ask for anymore…" he persuaded and the younger let out a deep sigh as he was stiffly pulled into giant arms. "We ought to be getting home, now. It's boiling."

Clambering into the back seat, Alphard handed over two cool cans of Hawaiian Punch which they cracked open thirstily, "For being late and leaving you in the sun too long. Now, tell me all about those nuns you mentioned in the letters…"

The contrast between their first car ride to now was astounding as they chatted away about their year away, mainly Sirius but sometimes Regulus offered snippets of experience when prompted. He told Alphard how they all believed he was the anti-Christ aside from the eldest Sister Abigail who was well into her seventies and was the only one that had a laugh left in her, and Regulus commented on how furious their mother was. Occasionally he feared he bored his Uncle with the childish talk, but if that was indeed the case the man never showed it.

"Better than talking about politics, economy and America measuring its cock against Russia's," he had said bitterly, which Sirius didn't really understand at the time.

Turning up the obscenely long driveway and pulling outside the old cottage was like feeling a wave of relief wash over his mind, like suddenly the world was real again after a year of numbness.

Stepping inside he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, inhaling the smell of books, fingers gracing over the notches in the doorway where Alphard had measured their heights the day before leaving last summer. He was at least an inch taller, he thought absentmindedly before bounding up the stairs and diving into his spring bed.

Unpacking the things he'd brought onto his bed; clothing, books, paper, pencils, trinkets, records and semi-melted chocolate, he grinned to himself. None of it was really for him, you see.

"What do you need all that for?" Regulus who he hadn't heard come in asked unexpectedly, making Sirius jump slightly.

Without explanation, he smirked, "Nunya business, Reggy."

The younger boy who honestly didn't really care what his somewhat eccentric elder brother did with his time, simply rolled his eyes, "Right, well, have fun with that then… and don't call me Reggy. It's Regulus."

"Only you'd be proud of such a weird name…" Sirius sighed.

"Look who's talking," he snapped and the conversation died. Both were drained from the train ride and running on a Hawaiian Punch induced sugar high, so tensions where strung tight when they advanced the staircase to where their Uncle had lunch laid out.

Sirius scoffed it down, partly because of his hunger, mainly because of the thought of seeing his friend again so with eyes staring out the window intently as if the forest edge down the hill would scramble away if he blinked, he didn't notice Alphard's question.

"What?"

"_Pardon_," he corrected absentmindedly.

"I didn't say anything," Sirius looked muddled.

Alphard sighed, "I– never mind. It's as if the Spanish Inquisition is storming towards our home the way you're looking out that window,"

Regulus furrowed his brows, "The Spanish Inquisition?"

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition," he smirked expecting his nephew to understand the reference which his smiled dropped as Regulus stared blankly, "Oh Lord, those nuns have cut you from the world haven't they…"

Sirius smiled airily at his Uncle's jest, "I think I shall reacquaint myself with Ol' Lady Savernake after lunch,"

"Personification of the forest. You really have gone mad," Regulus mumbled.

"_Personification_. Big words for a little man," Alphard spoke, seeming rather proud.

Of course Regulus didn't pick up of that and replied meekly "I read a lot," and Sirius snorted, murmuring something along the lines of _'that's an understatement'_ under his breath.

Alphard stared pointedly at his eldest nephew, "You could stand to do more reading,"

"Reading is for school. Summer is for tree climbing and swimming and–"

"Running around barefoot in the woods like some naked nymph?" Alphard offered with a smirk.

Sirius wrinkled his nose, "I'll have you know, nudity is not involved in my adventures."

"Just wait until you're older," he winked and the Sirius made a face of disgust while Regulus chuckled to himself.

Finishing up quickly in an attempt to escape from any other innuendos his Uncle may make, Sirius raced the stairs and threw his rucksack over his shoulder and leapt down the stair case taking it two at a time, which at home would have earned him a lecture but here Alphard only sighed dramatically and said he'd be in the study if he was needed.

Sprinting down the hill he laughed airily, feeling another piece of worry and doubt strip away as he enters the forest of tall trees and thick underbrush. This time it didn't feel threatening, it felt like home. The flora and fauna no longer opposing his entrance because their secret had been revealed, and their secret was his friend.

Even the river seemed a little less violent as he swung across, landing in a less-than-graceful heap.

As Sirius came upon the familiar clearing, he first saw Sia. The she-wolf eyed him with distain, but none the less padded up to the excited boy. As he approached the treehouse she whined and pushed her snout against his hip bone, shoving him in the direction of the trees behind the treehouse.

"Okay, okay, we'll go this way. Jesus, Sia, just don't bite my head off!" Sirius sighed, no longer scared of the wolf but understanding about the fact that she's still a wild animal who only ever listens to Remus.

What they came across was another clearing, significantly smaller than the last. Immediately he spotted Remus standing in the centre, recurve bow pulled back with a notched arrow. Sweat dripped down his brow but his eyes remained strictly focused as he let the arrow fly into the shabby hand-made target leant against a tree. It didn't hit centre but this didn't seem to faze Remus as he swiftly notched another and shot again. Sirius didn't feel like he had the authority to interrupt such concentration, but eventually Sia grew impatient and nudged the dark-haired boy forward, causing a snapping of twigs in the underbrush.

Remus whirled around, bow pointed to the ground but still notched, "Sirius!" he exclaimed in both shock and glee.

"You didn't hit the centre once; I thought you were good at this?" he joked, strutting forwards.

Remus smiled meekly slinging it over his shoulder, "The point isn't to hit the centre every time, it's to get the arrows in a tight group. That's how you improve."

Sirius grinned and pulled his friend into a semi-awkward hug, "You're too skinny,"

"You're no better," Remus poked the raven-haired boy in the ribs.

"Touché," he grinned, "I brought some stuff from home to show you,"

This grasped Remus' attention as his best friend, "Like what?"

"You still have that record player?" Sirius smiled slyly and Remus nodded eagerly.

The two boys made their way back along a small trail connecting the two clearings, a better path than what Sia took him through on, but he guessed that didn't matter to the animal.

His hands smoothed over the rough railing he wouldn't trust to lean on as they raced up into the tree, kicking the circular trap door open and clambering into the room, not any cooler but still shielded from the blazing sun.

Sirius slugged the rucksack off his shoulder and it hit the ground with a clattering thud, pulling the drawstring he begun empting the loot onto the hard floor. Remus pulled the used record player off the shelf and Sirius fitted the album _Let It Be_, adjusting the needle and suddenly John Lennon's voice began to sing.

_Two of us riding nowhere_

_Spending someone's_

_Hard earned pay_

_You and me Sunday driving_

_Not arriving_

_On our way back home_

_We're on our way home_

_We're on our way home_

_We're going home_

Remus seemed confused by the airy tune, "What sort of music is this?"

"The Beatles, of course! I found it at the second hand store," Sirius smiled.

He shook his head, "My parents liked classical music, but Si– my sister liked Elvis. What's this called?"

Sirius smirked, "This, my friend, is rock and roll," then he faltered, "Why? Don't you like it?"

"Quite the contrary, it's _brilliant_!" Remus grinned and lay down on the floor, their heads on either side of the player in the centre of the room.

_Two of us sending postcards_

_Writing letters_

_On my wall_

_You and me burning matches_

_Lifting latches_

_On our way back home_

_We're on our way home_

_We're on our way home_

_We're going home_

"You never said you had a sister," Sirius commented breaking the silence.

"You never asked," Remus replied quietly.

_You and I have memories_

_Longer than the road that stretches out ahead_

_Two of us wearing raincoats_

_Standing so low_

_In the sun_

_You and me chasing paper_

_Getting nowhere_

_On our way back home_

_We're on our way home_

_We're on our way home_

_We're going home_

It was some time before he spoke up again, and this time is was far softer, "What happened to your family Remus?"

"I wish I could tell you, I really do, but it's a secret… I'm sorry,"

Sirius turned his head to face Remus, "It's okay, I understand," he said.

But he didn't. Not really.

"What were they like?" he then spoke, "Can I ask that?"

Remus shuffled, rolling onto his shoulder to face his friend, music still playing, "My mother's name was Hope – she was good with her hands, anything from playing piano to stripping the skin off a rabbit to sewing up all the holes in my socks. Her hair was a darker brown like Sia's coat but she had amber eyes like mine. My father's name was Lyall and he liked to have his way, but mother could always talk him around. He cared fiercely about our family and keeping everybody safe. My sister, Siera, was just like him – stubborn and loud, with his eyes and our mothers darker hair. I was always more like Hope."

Sirius thought that over, "You talk about them in past tense… d-did they die, Remus?"

"I don't know," he said with a soft voice and glassy eyes and Sirius made a conscious decision to stop asking.

The next song begun playing and Sirius changed the subject, "You know, we really should build some swings… that branch outside seems sturdy enough…"

"I had some when I was younger, but I used the wood one year because I run out in the winter. We'd need to find the materials…" Remus begun to calculate, perking up slightly.

Sirius thought for a moment, "There might be some useful things in the abandoned sheds on the farm. I can ask Alphard about it…"

They spent the rest of the day planning, Remus sketching out designs on loose paper as they worked out the supplies they'd need to collect for the next day while listening to the record on repeat.

"You know, you're pretty good at drawing," Sirius commented.

Remus went a little red, "Oh, uh, really? I just copy things usually… have to entertain myself somehow through the year,"

"I wish I could_ always_ be here," he huffed, "when we're older I'll live here with you and Sia, then we can have adventures all through the year…"

Remus smiled warmly, "I can't wait," he said wistfully and meant it with every fibre of his being.

Eventually the sky begun to burn with the warm colours of a setting sun and Sirius grudgingly said his first nightfall goodbye for the summer and begun his trek home across the creek and to the cottage.

* * *

><p>Sirius woke at dawn having forgotten to close the curtains the night before, so creeping quietly past his sleeping brother and down into the kitchen, he found Alphard at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee, scrawling in a notebook. He looked up as the boy walked in and Sirius noticed the heavy bags under his eyes.<p>

"You look like you hardy slept," he commented.

Alphard laughed loudly, breaking the dawn quiet with wide eyes and a grin resting somewhere between giddy and manic, "Son, I never went to bed in the first place – how could I? I've been struck with a break-through in my newest novel!"

Sirius sighed. _Writers_.

"I was wondering if I could use some of the wood and rope in the old shed to make a swing set…"

"So long as you don't hurt the tree, Savernake is a special forest… ancient…" he mumbled, partly concentrating on what Sirius was saying but mainly reading over his terrible hand writing and making corrections.

Sirius smiled and begun making buttered toast, then while eating the toast proceeded to make two sandwiches for his and Remus' lunch. Wrapping them up, he placed them in his rucksack, waved to Alphard and set out for a long day.

It only took an hour to collect what they needed, most of the time being drained by him breaking open the rusted lock on the sheds door, once he was in the rope was his first find, then some dry wood under an itchy heshen tarp. Hammer and nails were more difficult, but eventually he scavenged from an old and battered tool box slightly hidden by a pile of old roof tiles. So with a heavy pack on his shoulder and rope tied around his stomach, Sirius set off through the forest giddy with excitement for the project.

This early in the morning the air still bit with cool freshness at his exposed skin as the sun hadn't yet had a chance to warm the forest bellow the interwoven tree tops and his jeans were dampened by the dew in the underbrush.

Crossing the river took a little more guts than usual, but despite the miniature heart attack during the split second where he thought he wouldn't make it across due to the awkward weight he carried.

When he came to Remus' tree he grinned and called his friends name, when there was no response he dropped the supplies at the base of the tree and climbed up, quietly pushing open the trap door entrance.

As he thought – fast asleep.

Sirius crept over with a smirk, crouching beside the bed, "Remus… Reeeeeeemus… _Remus wake up_!"

His friend darted awake, grabbing him roughly and jumping on top of him. He was shaking, a knife pressed into Sirius' jugular with eyes sharper than any blade. There was a moment of held breath, of fear in the two.

"Oh… oh God… I am _so_ sorry…" Remus scrambled away from the dumbstruck Sirius, throwing the weapon to the floor as if it burned his skin, still shaking.

Sirius furrowed his brows catching his breath, "I'm fine… are _you_ okay though?"

Remus gulped, looking erratic, "Bad dream."

"I get those too," he took a step forward and reaches for his friends trembling hand, "I shouldn't have woken you so suddenly, I didn't think–"

"It's fine. I'll be fine."

Sirius bit his lip at the quick reply and smiled slightly, "I managed to find all the things we need…"

Remus cocked an eyebrow, "Exactly how early did you roll out of bed, then?"

"Crack of dawn," he spoke proudly but faltered when the two simultaneously seemed to realize they were still holding hands and Sirius darted back, a little too quickly and Remus looked puzzled, "You… you wanna get started?"

Remus nodded, not trusting his voice.

As they set at the task, there was little argument or dilly-dallying. The shaky awkwardness of the morning seemed to wear away, as well as whatever had haunted Remus' dreams the previous night and the two seemed to fall into a rhythm, moving as in sync as two pre-pubescent boys could on a day as stinking hot as this.

The shade of the tree helped them deny the growing patches of sweat on their thin shirts, but by noon with the sun hot in the sky, they decided to take a break and Sirius fished out the slightly squished sandwiches from his rucksack.

"C'mon, let's eat them higher," Remus spoke quietly – he'd been quiet all day – and Sirius nodded, following his friend out the window and onto a larger branch that led further up the grand tree to a small platform where an old telescope was mounted. They sat shoulder to shoulder, legs dangling over the edge. They couldn't see the ground through the leaves but they could feel by the way their hearts jumped when they lent over that the drop would snap their spines. Sunlight filtered through the gap where the telescope pointed and Sirius smiled to himself for no particular reason outside of content happiness.

"This is the sort of place you should take girls to kiss, not me," Sirius spoke with half a conscience.

Remus looked confused, "Don't you like it up here?"

"I love it up here, it's beautiful! I'm just saying – you should've saved this place for somebody special…" he trailed off, taking another bite of his sandwich.

There was a moment before Remus spoke, "I think you're special enough for me, Sirius."

The pair fell into silence after that, finishing up their lunch and mutually deciding that hanging up the swings could be done the next day when it was cooler.

* * *

><p>"Sirius! You're going to <em>fall<em>! We can find another way to get it up there!" Remus shouted helplessly from the ground.

Sirius, who hung upside-down by tightly clenched legs while he fastened the swing with numerous knots, laughed, "I'm fine, I'm not going to fa–" and with those words his legs slipped, hands grappling at the rope of the swing with an expression of terror until he came to a jolting stop, hanging from the rope, still a fair way off the ground, with scraped stinging hands, but he could hold on no longer and with no other choice braced himself and let go of the rope.

Landing with a dull thud and a pitiful grown, Remus skid over, "I told you so," he smirked.

Sirius didn't reply, too busy catching the breath that'd been knocked out of him and counting his bruises.

"You gonna be alright?"

"Y-yeah… at lease we know my knots are sturdy…" he wheezed and Remus chuckled helping his idiotic best friend up.

In the treehouse Sirius sat down and winced, "Man, am I gonna be sore tomorrow,"

Remus went to one of his cupboards and fished out three bandages as well as a rather large bottle of antiseptic liquid. Kneeling before his friend he opened Sirius' cut hands and tipped some antiseptic onto the first bandage. Sirius hissed under his breath as Remus begun dabbing the stinging solution into his cuts. When he finished that he took the other two bandages and wrapped Sirius' hands tightly.

"How'd you learn to do that so well?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged, "I'm out here all alone, ain't I? Gotta know how to take of myself…"

There's quiet for a while before Sirius remembers what Alphard had told him this morning, "I can't come tomorrow, me and Alphard are cleaning out the attic,"

"Alphard and I," his friend corrected absentmindedly and Sirius rolled his eyes, jumping up abruptly.

"Betcha I can swing higher than you," he teased.

Remus laughed and chased the raven-haired boy out of the treehouse.

* * *

><p>The following day Sirius woke close to noon to the sudden bright morning light that streamed through his window as Regulus abruptly opened them.<p>

"Reg I was _sleeping_," Sirius moaned and pulled his blankets over his head.

The younger brother shrugged, "It's my room now."

It took a groggy Sirius a few moments to comprehend his words before realisation hit him, "We're cleaning the attic today!"

"You mean _you're_ cleaning the attic," Regulus corrected, crawling onto his bed and opening a very thick book.

Sirius sat up hazily and stretched, "What're you reading?"

"_The Princess Bride_ by William Goldman," he muttered, eyes not breaking from the page.

"What's it about?" Sirius asked while pulling a shirt over his head.

"Read it and find out," Regulus spoke with a dry tone and Sirius sighed, deciding to leave him be.

After a quick breakfast that consisted of simple buttered toast scoffed down with the bare minimum amount of chewing needed without choking to death , Alphard found the old skeleton key that used to dangle around his father's neck back when he was young in the second draw of his desk in the study.

So together the man who wished he were a boy and the boy who thought himself a man headed up to the attic. Sirius realistically was least excited by the prospect of having his own room compared to the youthful notion of what mysterious old things he could discover in the mysterious old attic of the mysterious old house that sat at the edge of a mysterious old forest.

"This is worse than I remembered," Alphard gulped and moved to push the rotting cupboard from blocking the circular window and let the sun shine though, catching the dust in the air.

Sirius, however, was in love. The space was small and stacked with everything from a broken grandfather clock to his great-grandmothers wedding dress.

Alphard scratched his head wondering exactly how to go about the task that seemed much smaller in his head, "… How about I help with the bigger things first. I don't think it'll rain today so we can take them downstairs or outside and sort through what we want to keep and take the rest to antique store or market for selling. Then you can sort out the room how you want to."

They set to it with little chatter, making trip after trip up and down the two staircases with three-legged chairs and lamps and the surreal paintings created by his Great-Uncle Phineas Black.

After a couple hours their arms begun aching from lifting the awkward furniture down the staircase and the lawn was starting to look like a living room in itself, which Regulus didn't seem to mind when he sat on an old rocking chair reading in the sun.

When the bulk was gone, the smaller things were left and it became easier. An antique gramophone, moth-bitten blankets and dresses from a fashion long past. In draws they found photos and cards, china dolls with mattered hair and missing eyes, even dead mice carcases which nobody really wanted to touch.

And, of course, stacks upon stacks of books.

Most weren't that interesting to Sirius, but Alphard took them anyway with a giddy look in his eyes and left them on the floor of the study.

Once Alphard found the broom, an old cloth and a bucket of water it was really up to Sirius. This of course was the least fun part but he survived the boredom through listening to Alphard's prised Elvis records and pretending he was, in fact, the King of Rock n Roll and not some scrawny twelve year old with a broom.

Once the floors were rid of the dust, Sirius washed the grime off the single circular window which proved to be more difficult than he first imagined as the latch was rusted and it would open whenever he leant against it which proved to be amazingly frustrating.

It was only when Alphard knocked on his door with a bowl of stew (their Uncle was quite fond of stew, however much he did try to vary their diet) Sirius actually realised how late it had gotten.

"This place is looking much better!" he exclaimed, "We should move the bed in here after you eat, then tonight all three of us can go through the things downstairs and see what we want to keep…"

Sirius nodded and took the plate and sat down in the middle of the clean room devoid of everything but a few pieces of key furniture.

Moving the bed proved even more frustrating than cleaning the window and so they enlisted the help of Regulus. It was a good things that despite his age, Alphard was still rather sprightly or the feat might have proved too difficult. Once it was in the room, they pushed it to the wall where the roof slanted its lowest, beside the window.

Sirius decided he would make it his own another day and headed downstairs with Regulus and Alphard to sort through the clutter that was taking up the living room and part of the kitchen. Everything outside they'd already decided had to go, but everything else still had to be decided on. Sirius kept the records, Alphard kept the books and Regulus formed attachments to strange objects that he found interesting and decided to rearrange his own room also with the new space he had.

Sirius also set things aside that he thought Remus might like, like a set of charcoal pencils and a great book about the wonders of the world which Alphard let him keep on account of the fact he had two other editions of the same text already in his library.

Whatever wasn't kept was stacked in boxes by the doorway, left on the porch or put on the front lawn and covered with a tarp just in case it rained.

As Sirius carted the things he'd acquired up into the attic it was past midnight, however he still decided to unpack the boxes knowing he wanted to see Remus the following day, so he filled the shelves and desk with what he could to make the room seem a little less empty. It was early in the morning when he finally crawled into bed and fell into a deep dreamless sleep almost immediately.

* * *

><p>Trudging into the kitchen expecting to find his Uncle, Sirius instead found a note explaining how Alphard had gone to into Little Bedwyn with what seemed like the most valuable of items to see what price he could get for them at the antique store.<p>

Shrugging Sirius followed the usual morning routine of prepping for a day outside and headed off with rucksack slung over shoulder.

He found his friend reading on the swing and sat down on the second set.

"I didn't know you were coming today, I thought you'd still be shoving around furniture…" Remus spoke nonchalantly but there was a note of worry in his tone that Sirius didn't notice.

"Nah I got it all done yesterday, but look what I found while cleaning the attic!" he said and pulled out the charcoal and book which made Remus smile slightly.

Remus knelt down on the grass beside his friend and examined the book; it had a hard emerald cover with golden print and a broken spine. As they flicked through the hundreds of watercolour artworks of different wonders of the world Sirius grins, "Do you like it?"

"Yeah it's amazing," he muttered.

"Well, it's yours," he grinned.

Remus' expression went hard and he pushed the book away, 'I'm not taking anything more from you, Sirius. It's a nice gesture but I will not."

"What? _Why_?"

"Because I can't give you anything back! I'm not a charity case!"

Sirius laughed lightly, "I don't want anything…"

"It's not funny," Remus snapped and Sirius' face dropped realizing how serious his friend was.

"Remus, if I didn't give this to you, they'd have either rotted on a shelf for the next thirty years or been given to somebody else… I just thought you'd like it. You're my friend…" Sirius's face was sombre and Remus let go of his balled fists, letting out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, this just… isn't a good day for me," he mumbled meekly.

They fell into silence and Sirius found himself looking more are Remus' expression as his fingers brushed over the paged than the book itself, "I've read about the ocean, but I can't imagine anything so vast…"

"We can go there one day," Sirius smiles, "We can go to the pyramids of Egypt and the Great Wall of China and the Great Barrier Reef and sail the seven seas if we wanted to,"

Remus' smile faded, "No. I can't."

"Why not?" Sirius questioned lightly.

Remus scowled, "Because I just can't, alright."

Sirius looked confused, "Did I do something? Why're you acting so strange?"

"I'm not acting anything!" Remus barked, jumping up abruptly and Sirius flinched, feeling anger rise in his chest.

"Why're you so scared to leave this forest?" Sirius asked roughly.

"I'm _not_ scared!" Remus growled, shoving his friend away, "Just _leave me alone_!"

Sirius got the message, grabbing his rucksack angrily and storming off out of the clearing with burning ears. He slashed his was back home in a fit of rage – all he was trying to be was kind and suddenly the calm, level headed Remus he knew snapped.

He'd calmed only slightly by the time he got home, thumping up the stairs and throwing himself on his bed in a huff, and that's where he stayed for the rest of the day, finishing off the last pieces of his room and flicking through his comic books to distract himself from boredom.

Sirius fell asleep before sunset in a heap on his bed greeted by tense restlessness, waking at many intervals of the night due to the loud howling he didn't properly acknowledge in his sleepy state.

The next morning he was woken early by Alphard to help stack the little car full with some of the furniture in the garden for the Sunday Market in Marlborough. If his Uncle noticed the boy's unusual quietness, he didn't say anything.

He tried to not think of Remus and concentrate on the task he had, but in doing so Remus sat at the frontline of his mind. When the anger subsided what the boy was left with was complete and utter confusion over the previous day's events.

So when his eyes caught sight of a panicked Sia at the edge of the forest, a sense of dread set in his stomach.

Sneaking away as quickly as possible he joined the oversized she wolf who nudged at him, growing with impatience until he realizes she wanted him to climb onto her back.

Lying low and clutching the russet fur, she ducked and weaved through the ancient woods. As the river approached Sirius' heart stopped and Sia speed up to leap across the flowing water and land roughly on the opposing bank.

When they broke into the clearing she kept going, right past the tree house until they came to a set of basement doors in the ground. Sirius' caught the rusty metallic smell of blood and panic begun to cry in his chest as he flung them open, stumbling into a dark hole. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he reached out and felt the thick iron bars of a cage and saw inside to his great horror, a bloodied whimpering Remus.

Memories of home flashed behind his eyes but he otherwise kept calm, spying the key that dangled on a loose chair around his neck.

"Remus," Sirius whispered as he turned away to investigate the rest of the room. With adjusted eyes he could see that there had been clothes folded and left on a stool and behind that an old cabinet. Opening it up the boy found an array of medical materials and hanging on a hook, another key.

Sia was growing restless by now, pushing her muzzle between the bars and whining loudly.

Shaky hands fumbled with the lock before he could bust it open and scramble to his first whose chest had been slashed with large claw marks.

Balling up bandages he attempted to soak the sticky blood, but he could think, he could breath as his friend bleed out before him.

"S-sir-rius…" the slightest whisper came and the raven haired boy's eyes went wide.

"Remus, I-I don't know how…" he stopped and took a deep breath, "Can I get you on Sia?"

There was no reply but he decided on it anyway, lifting his thin fragile friend onto the back of the she wolf there was a slight whimper from Remus and Sirius winced.

As they came into the light he saw properly the sate Remus was in; pale and clammy and shaking. Sirius wrapped his coat around his friend, holding him as Sia walked without any sudden movement.

"You're going to be okay, we can get you to a hospital…" he reassured his tattered friend.

"N-no hospital… tree h-house…" Remus managed and despite everything, Sirius nodded. There wasn't time for questioning, that all could come later.

Carrying him inside proved the most difficult, with fear that he'd make it worse, but eventually with Sia's help they managed.

Sirius almost leapt towards where Remus stored his medical supplies, pulling out whatever made sense to him for use and skidded back to Remus who'd gained some level of consciousness and propped himself against the wall.

"Anti… septic… you gotta… clean… the wounds…" his teeth chattered, so Sirius wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.

With a hiss of pain Sirius dabbed the soaked bandage into the corner of the cut, softly working his way, clearing the dirt and grime and blood from the gashes.

Remus gripped Sirius' other hand when the raven-haired boy reached the deepest area until he couldn't feel it anymore.

"Need to sew it up," Remus breathed heavily.

Sirius bit his lip, "I don't know how… what if I did it wrong…?"

The brown eyed boy shook his head, "I'll do it."

Remus held cotton bandages to his chest as he instructed Sirius on how to disinfect and thread the thin curved needle. He felt reluctant to hand it to his friend but Remus insisted that he could do it, so instead Sirius let his hand be crushed, watching wide eyed.

It took longer than expected, but it got done. Somewhat shabbily but at least Remus was no longer bleeding out on the floor. The smaller cuts he covered with Band-Aids as Sirius found clean bandages and wrapped Remus' chest before helping him into clothes.

"You probably want an explanation," Remus whispered as Sirius assisted him into bed.

"Yes, but not now. You need to rest… we can talk later, alright? I'll be here…" Sirius smiled reassuringly and watched as his friend drifted into a much-needed sleep.

* * *

><p>When Remus woke it was dark, the room was clean and Sirius was snoring softly curled up at the end of his bed.<p>

From under the covers he nudged his friend's body and Sirius yawned and asked groggily, "How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I'm ready to explain myself too," Remus spoke firmly, pushing himself up against the headboard and made room for Sirius who scooted over, sitting next to him.

There was silence.

"Any time now would be great…" Sirius joked awkwardly

"Shut-up I'm thinking," Remus spoke with furrowed brows but felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips.

"How about you just… spit it out," Sirius offered.

Remus took a big breath and blurted, "_I'm a werewolf_."

"A… werewolf?" Sirius spoke with surprise; it wasn't exactly what he expected to hear.

"As in, when the moon rises, I turn into a gigantic wolf…" Remus looked down at his lap.

Sirius mulled this over for a moment, "I wonder what would happen if I put you on the moon,"

"Sirius, that's impossible…" Remus scoffed, feeling himself relax.

He laughed, "You're so detached from everything… a guy literally did it a few years ago. Some Yankee chap named Neil."

"That makes no scientific sense…" he muttered in thought.

"Says the werewolf…" Sirius pointed out.

"It was probably a hoax!" Remus exclaimed and winced from pain.

Sirius smiled softly, "Again I point out. _Werewolf_." He paused "Unless _you're_ the hoax…"

Remus sighed and begun pulling off the Band-Aids from all over his body to reveal nothing but thin barely visible scars.

"I heal fast. Also my senses are heightened."

Sirius brushed his fingers over one of the scars, "Well fuck,"

Remus' eyes went wide, "You can't say that!"

"Well why not?"

"It's not a good word, Sirius," he scolded.

"Alphard always murmurs it under his breath when he think Reg and me can't hear," he smiled mischievously.

"Regulus and I, you mean," Remus corrected him absentmindedly.

Sirius laughed lightly, "You're too proper to be a werewolf… is there anything else I should know?"

There was a pause before Remus spoke again, "Sia is my sister. Her full name is Siera…"

"Is there a reason why she's…" Sirius made a confused gesture to the sleeping wolf in the corner.

"Always an animal?" Remus offered and he nodded, "One day we just… don't change back. I was nine at the time. Woke up after the moon and she was just looking down at me. She was only sixteen."

"Will… will that happen to you too?" Sirius asked with a small voice.

Remus avoided Sirius' eyes, "Yeah."

"Is that what happened to your parents?"

"Apparently… I don't really remember them. They left us a few months after it happened… it turned Sia bitter… I-I know she loved me… but I think sometimes she liked being a wolf more than a human, and that's why it happened so early…" he trailed off and lent his head on Sirius' shoulder.

"Are you bitter?"

"Sometimes."

"Is that why you were all cut up?" Sirius questioned with his heart in his throat.

"I don't usually go that ballistic. I was in a bad mood when I transformed."

"Because of our fight." Sirius spoke flatly. It was a statement not a question.

Remus let out a long sigh, "Because I'm always edgy and angry the day of the moon. Don't blame yourself, please. Turning into a wolf, no matter how many times, confuses the body and the mind… I fight myself at first, then I fight the cage and by the time I might even begin to adjust, the transformation reverses at dawn…"

"I think you're the bravest person I've ever met," Sirius smirked.

Remus rolled his eyes, "I think you're daft."

There was a moment where Sirius felt his eyes begin to flutter to a close with tiredness before Remus sat upright and the two boys clashed heads.

"Sirius! It's _dark_!" he exclaimed with panic.

The raven-haired boy's silver eyes went as wide as the moon and he buried his face in his hands, "Alphard is going to bloody well _kill_ me…"


End file.
